


Falls

by nekojita



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AFTG Exchange, AFTG Winter Exchange 2017, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Edgar Allan setting, I'm going with an 'M' rating to be safe, M/M, Neil as Nathaniel, Riko is being Riko so...., The Ravens, Underage Sex, but not as bad as it could be, canonical references to it after all, not graphic about the sex at all, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 17:59:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12893637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekojita/pseuds/nekojita
Summary: Nathaniel ends up at Edgar Allan/the Nest after all, and what helps him through everything (Tetsuji's abusive demands, RIKO, being pushed to his limits to be the best) is often the dreams he has of the young French boy whose name is embellished on his wrist - Jean. The boy whom his mother told him to never mention to anyone, especially his father.So what happens when that boy ends up at Evermore one day?A soul mate/Neil/Jean fic for apprenticedmagician on Tumblr for ATFG_Exchange's winter gift exchange.





	Falls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ApprenticedMagician](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApprenticedMagician/gifts).



> So, this sorta combined two prompts (Neil/Jean and soul mates), and I can only hope that it comes sorta close to being decent and meeting them? I tried, I did, and this is sorta a different 'feel' to a fic for me. 
> 
> Anyway, yes, Neil/Nathaniel PoV, him at the Nest so some rough times, but per the note at the end, it's not quite as bad as it could be, that and since it leads up to the start of the series (sorta), with Neil being 17 or so, he's a bit underage for some things but nothing is that explicit and it's all consensual on his part (that and Jean, as always, is utterly wonderful, that poor French bean). 
> 
> Any questions, reach out to me on Tumblr @nekojitachan.

*******

Nathaniel was six when the dreams started, of a flowing odd language he couldn’t understand and strange people he didn’t recognize who seemed cold and distant (like his father, only without the knives and the hitting and the _pain_ ), and a pretty little girl barely more than a toddler who laughed and smiled. It took him a few nights to realize that the dreams and the name scrolled above his right wrist were tied together, so he waited until he was alone with his mother to bring them up.

“I’m dreaming about him,” he told her as they sat alone out in the garden (it wasn’t much of a garden, not really. Rows of tall hedges and a few rose bushes, some dahlias and snapdragons and marigolds but enough so he and his mother could sit out there and pretend) with mugs of Darjeeling tea. “My name.”

It was slight, but he caught how that had startled her from the way the tea sloshed the plain ceramic mug with its rough glaze held between her slender hands. “Who… _Jean’s_ a boy?”

Nathaniel nodded. “Yes.”

His mother was quiet as she sipped the hot tea, tendrils of steam rising in the cool morning air of Baltimore’s spring – soon enough it would be hot and humid, but they’d still spend as much time outside as possible to escape from Nathan Wesninski and his people.

“I see.” There was a hard set to her jaw as she seemed to think of something. “Jean.” She pronounced it the way he’d heard it in his dream, and then spoke in the same language. “Est-il français?”

“Yes, he speaks like that!” Nathaniel exclaimed, so excited that he almost spilled his milky tea.

“I see,” his mother repeated. “Abram,” he knew it was important when she used _that_ name and so stilled, his attention focused on his mother, “I’ll teach you French if you promise me something.”

“Yes, Mum?”

“Never tell anyone that your soul mate is a boy, can you do that for me? Especially your father.” There was something almost sad on her beautiful face as she spoke to him.

“I promise.” He didn’t know why she asked that of him, not when it was his _soul mate_ … but it involved his _father_ , so that was reason enough for him, he supposed. That and he hated it when his mother was sad, especially when she rubbed at the awful scar around her own right wrist where his father’s name should be, where there was what looked to be burned skin and part of a faded letter.

(He didn’t learn until years later what a faded soul mate name meant, nor realize that the bit of a remaining letter didn’t look like an ‘N’ at all.)

Mary kept her promise to teach him French, passing it off to Nathan as a way to occupy a young boy while he spent so much time indoors (since he didn’t have any friends or was allowed out to play), and Nathaniel proved to be adept at learning languages. He continued to study it even when he was allowed to play Exy (under a pseudonym, of course) as a backliner, and would often speak in French with his mother as they drove outside of the city to his practices (in an effort to find a team which didn’t recognize him as Nathaniel Wesninski).

Despite living in constant fear of his own father, in the nightmare house in Baltimore with the Malcolms and DiMaccio and Plank always around, with never knowing when he’d be smacked or kicked or worse, his body already littered with scars… Nathaniel could escape into Exy and his dreams of Jean, of playing with Sophie (the little girl) or Jean’s Exy practices and games (he thought maybe they were meant to be together since they both were backliners and played the same sport).

Then came the day when he was taken to Castle Evermore and got to practice with Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day. What started as something exciting and wonderful as Exy was for Nathaniel (was something to push past the always lingering fear and make him forget the way his body ached from fists and healing cuts) was ruined (always ruined) by his father in the end, was soaked in blood and terror as the three of them were brought up into one of the towers looming over the famous court to watch Nathan Wesninski chop apart some unknown man who screamed and sobbed for his life. Riko watched on in white-faced silence, Kevin with tears running down his cheeks as he struggled not to throw up, and Nathaniel… he’d seen his father ‘work’ before so he dug his nails into the palms of his hands since he knew better than to visibly react to the horror.

His mother showed up to take him home that night, a stiff smile on her face and her fingers digging into Nathaniel’s shoulders much like his own had into his palms earlier, but Riko’s uncle shook his head and refused to let him go. For a moment Mary tugged on Nathaniel as if to pull him with her, but more of Tetsuji’s ‘assistants’ (Nathaniel knew they weren’t assistants – at least, not _just_ assistants) arrived and boxed them in.

Mary leaned down to hug him tight and told him to be good, to stay strong, and gave him a rare kiss on the forehead before she was escorted out of Castle Evermore.

(Nathaniel wouldn’t see her for several more years. He wouldn’t see much outside of Castle Evermore and the Nest for several more years.)

There was more Exy the next day, but no torture and death, no Nathan Wesninski, and after long hours of being pitted against Riko and Kevin, Nathaniel found out why his mother had acted so oddly the night before, why his father had worked so ‘openly’ – Nathan Wesninski reported to the Moriyamas, who were the real power on the East Coast, and had _given_ Nathaniel to Tetsuji Moriyama.

Nathaniel still didn’t understand the whole ‘given’ part, but Tetsuji told him that he belonged to the Japanese man now, that he was property and would play Exy to be of value to the Moriyamas. After all the years of abuse in Baltimore, that didn’t sound too bad to Nathaniel; he would be away from his father and play the sport he loved, even if he missed his mother.

(He would soon learn otherwise.)

The first few months weren’t too bad (compared to what came before). Riko could be a bossy brat at times, especially when he tried to get his uncle’s attention, and Kevin arrogant when it came to Exy. But Nathaniel was still excited about being able to play all of the time, to having a court right _there_.

However, Tetsuji was a much stricter coach compared to any that Nathaniel ever had, and he didn’t hesitate or hold back on showing his displeasure over any mistakes Nathaniel made out on that court. That displeasure was made known by quick, brutal strikes of his cane along Nathaniel’s back and torso and legs, the same rained down on Riko and Kevin if they failed to master a drill or impress him during a skirmish.

Long used to such abuse, Nathaniel gritted his teeth (talking back earned him more blows) and stood up, grabbed his racquet and returned to his position out on court or tried yet again to knock down the cone. He wouldn’t give up. He _wouldn’t_.

The more he and Kevin learned, the more Riko seemed determined to prove to them that he was their ‘king’, the one in control. To assert that he wore the stupid #1 drawn on his left cheek for a reason (even if it washed off each night, only to be redrawn each morning). Nathaniel had felt sorry for him at first for the faded ‘Miyuki’ on his right wrist, but thought the girl was better off dead than being stuck with such an asshole.

(Then he learned later on about the main branch and the side branch, about how Riko never should have existed and realized that there probably was a reason why her name was faded on Riko’s forearm. It still didn’t make him feel sorry for the prick.)

Life at the Nest beneath Castle Evermore revolved around Exy and survival, in learning the sport well enough to placate a demanding Tetsuji, in dealing with an increasingly unstable Riko and a disdainful Kevin who was doing whatever he could to learn as well without angering either of the Moriyamas. Since he’d been at the Nest longer, since he was always at Riko’s side, Kevin managed the latter a bit better than Nathaniel, the ‘newcomer’. Nathaniel wasn’t one of the two ‘prodigies’, wasn’t ‘born to Exy’ as the son of Kayleigh Day or the nephew of Tetsuji Moriyama so he wasn’t as important as the older boys, wasn’t fawned over or treated with an almost respectful awe by the Ravens even if he spent as much time out on the court learning to be the best backliner possible. Even if he bore a ‘3’ on his cheek.

(He had the dreams at least to help make it all bearable, of visits to the beach and some park in a city, even if Jean’s parents were still cold and yelled about money a lot. Nathaniel wasn’t sure what Jean thought about _his_ life, other than to be grateful it was just a dream.)

He was ordered about as the team’s errand boy and forced to clean the court each time he spoke out, was smacked around by Riko and the older players and castigated by Kevin for his attitude and not showing ‘proper respect’. He was beaten black and blue until he had the drills memorized and could knock the cones over in whatever order Tetsuji called out, his hands calloused from holding the racquet for so many hours on end and his knees darkened from all the times he’d been knocked onto them by blows and hits, by having the back of his neck grabbed to force him down in a show of submission.

(He’d been told he had a bit of an attitude problem, that it would be beaten out of him one way or another. After months in the Nest, that still hadn’t happened.)

The private tutors had left for the day when Tetsuji called the three of them into his office, his dark eyes oddly intent on Nathaniel for once. That made Riko’s spine stiffen and promised a painful session out on court (and later that evening) when they noticed that there was another young boy about Riko’s and Kevin’s age standing in the office over to the side; he had wavy black hair and grey eyes, a slight suntan to his skin as if he’d been out in the sun (Nathaniel missed the sun, the days out in the garden with his mother and their walks to the wharf), and a petulant twist to his mouth as he scowled at them.

Somehow, he seemed familiar to Nathaniel, seemed to draw his attention even though Tetsuji was in the room and always bore watching.

“Someone will be joining you as of today,” Tetsuji announced, his voice as deep and monotonous as always; Nathaniel was certain that if it ever revealed any emotion that things would have become very, _very_ bad. “Nathaniel, Jean Moreau will be your partner.” There was the slightest draw of the man’s thick, dark eyebrows as if he’d caught the way that Nathaniel had twitched upon hearing the name ‘Jean’, and the other boy took to gaping at Nathaniel in return.

Everyone at the Nest knew that Nathaniel bore the name ‘Jean’ on his wrist, just like they knew about Riko’s ‘Miyuki’ and Kevin’s ‘Theodora’; there was no privacy in the showers and the three of them were almost always together, save when the older boys went off to their room at night, and they spent so much time out on the court. The only one who kept _his_ name hidden was Tetsuji, and no one would dare ask the head coach such a personal question when it was clear he wasn’t willing to share the information.

Kevin glanced back and forth between Nathaniel and Jean with open curiosity while Riko grinned as if he’d just been given a wonderful present. As for himself, Nathaniel pushed down the sudden rush of anxiety he felt as he gave Tetsuji a respectful (for him) bow. “Yes, Master.”

Tetsuji nodded once. “You will ensure that he knows his proper place. Akagi will be by with his things. I’ll give you two hours to see him settled and then you’ll both be on the court.” Then he made a slight motion with his left hand, a sure sign of dismissal.

Meanwhile, Jean’s incredulous expression returned to being petulant. “What’s going on, I do-“

“ _Not now_ ,” Nathaniel told him in French as he hurried to grab the other boy by the left wrist and pulled him from the room. “ _Don’t cause a scene now_.”

“ _I can do what I want_!” Jean said, his voice loud enough to make Nathaniel wince. “ _I don’t understand why I’m here_!”

“Is someone being difficult?”

Nathaniel tamped down on the wince that time as he heard the delight in Riko’s voice and turned around, Jean’s wrist still in his grip, because he knew he had no choice. “He’s confused,” he tried to explain while Jean continued to glare. “Let me-“

“Why am I here? I shouldn’t-“

Nathaniel saw Riko move and knew he couldn’t do anything, that he had to let it happen, but it still hurt for some reason to watch Riko slap Jean. “My uncle told me about the Moreaus, about how they owed the Moriyamas a debt and had a son who was talented at Exy. You’re just like Nathaniel over there, property bartered and sold to my family, so you’ll shut up and do whatever I tell you to do.”

Someone certainly loved the small bit of power that they had, didn’t they? Some days Nathaniel would push back, would dare to throw that in Riko’s face, but not right then. Not with Jean in the Nest.

Unfortunately, _Jean_ didn’t know better. “I’ve seen you before,” he said as he looked down his nose at Riko, taller than the young striker by at least four inches. “I know what a spoiled brat you are, tu connar-“

That time, Nathaniel got in the way of Riko’s right fist and took the blow intended for his soul mate, and was knocked into Jean as a result. “ _Please_ ,” he told Riko in Japanese as his left cheek throbbed. _“He doesn’t know better_.” The taste of blood in his mouth from biting into his tongue helped to mask the bitterness of pleading to Riko’s miniscule ‘good nature’.

Riko appeared ready to lash out again while Kevin stared on in uneasy silence, then scoffed. “Teach him some manners quickly, Nate, or else you’ll get more than a punch next time.” He held up his reddened fist to show Jean. “You’ll get to watch me do it, too.”

Luckily (for Nathaniel), Jean appeared stunned quiet at that and didn’t say anything for once, so Nathaniel all but shoved him toward his (their) room. A double room which Nathaniel had all to himself for the past year or so, but would be sharing with his partner from then on.

With his soul mate.

He rubbed at the name ‘written’ in black around his right wrist, an elegant scrollwork band which he’d traced so many times, while he stared at the boy standing in the middle of the black-walled room with the all black décor, save for the precious few items Nathaniel’s mother had been able to send to him (two pictures of them together, a few books he’d cherished growing up, a grey cashmere scarf, a ceramic mug). Nathaniel didn’t like people being too close and had hated that one day he’d have to give up the little bit of privacy he did have when he finally got stuck with a partner- after Baltimore, after the months of Tetsuji and Riko-but somehow he didn’t mind Jean, wasn’t afraid of being alone with him.

“ _I **know** this place_ ,” Jean said as he went to sit on the spare bed. “ _I **know** you_.” He pulled back the sleeve of his dark brown shirt to reveal the scrollwork on his own wrist, the writing smaller so ‘Nathaniel’ could fit around it. “ _I thought… well, I wasn’t sure what to think, after all those dreams_.”

Nathaniel hung his head as he wrapped his arms around his middle, where his fingers could feel the scars beneath the black ‘Edgar Allan’ t-shirt he wore while studying his lessons. “ _I’m sorry, that must have been terrible_.” While Jean’s life hadn’t been perfect because of his parents, it hadn’t been filled with the pain and monsters which Neil had suffered.

Jean gave a weak laugh at that. “ _I only had a taste of it, you **lived** it_.” His mouth, so expressive like the rest of his face, like his pale eyes, twisted as he glanced around the room again. “ _And now I’m here, in this hell. Where my parents have condemned me, much like yours_.”

Well, it had been Nathaniel’s father who’d done that, but not the time to argue that point. “ _You have to accept it_ ,” Nathaniel told his soul mate. “ _You accept and you practice and you play your best, or Tetsuji will break you_ ,” he warned.

That earned him a sneer. “ _I don’t have to do anything_.”

Nathaniel had heard that there was supposed to be some reason behind the name one bore, that you were matched with that person for more than just a quirk of fate. That they complemented you, that they were your strength, that they would understand and support you in whatever you needed, that it wasn’t so much being made ‘whole’ with them as being true to yourselves together. It wasn’t always a sexual bond, didn’t always mean that paired people would be lovers, but the name would be the person who you would seek out and spend the rest of your life with in contentment, the fates willing.

All he knew for certain right then was that Jean matched him in stubbornness and perhaps stupidity, and it wasn’t so much them spending the rest of their lives together as the short amount of time they had left before Jean got them killed.

Nathaniel explained the daily schedule to the other boy who sat there in sullen silence, about their tutors and the long hours of practice, about the short skirmishes with the Ravens and the time spent alone with Riko and Kevin working on their drills (he was excited to have another backliner to form a proper defense against the two). The discussion was briefly interrupted with Akagi, one of the assistant coaches, arriving with Jean’s clothes and some ‘personal’ items, all new, which he shoved into various drawers and into the closet.

When the time was almost up, Nathaniel motioned for Jean to follow him to the locker room. “ _I imagine we’ll work on drills today. You can get started on them_.”

“ _I don’t care_ ,” Jean insisted. “ _They can keep me here but they can’t make me do **anything**_ ,” he repeated.

Someone was going to learn the truth the hard way.

Tetsuji put up with Jean’s defiance for about half an hour before the reinforced cane whistled through the air to strike the young boy on the back hard enough to knock him onto the court. He called out in his deep voice for Jean to get up and do it again, and when Jean disobeyed, hit him once more. After the fourth blow, Jean finally gave in.

The ‘lesson’ was repeated two more times that afternoon, and for once Nathaniel wasn’t the one ordered to clean the court. Still, Nathaniel stayed behind to show Jean how it was done.

“ _You don’t have to_ ,” Jean said while hunched over in pain.

“No,” Nathaniel agreed as he folded a large cloth in preparation of the task.

They both missed out on dinner that night, and the next day was much of the same, was Jean pushing back on the court, was him testing the limits of Tetsuji’s patience (which wasn’t much, as Nathaniel had learned). Jean was very good at Exy, but he didn’t seem to love it as much as Nathaniel and Riko and Kevin, didn’t seem to feel the need to strive in order to improve each and every day (and not just to avoid the painful blows of Tetsuji’s cane, the scorn of their ‘Master’ and even Kevin’s sharp tongue).

Riko held back for little more than a week as if willing to let his uncle punish Jean (and then Nathaniel after a few days for ‘failing’ to teach Jean his place), for them both to be sore and tired and hungry, and _then_ he stepped in. Nathaniel knew it was just his ‘friend’ biding his time, because Riko loved being dramatic, loved waiting until he had the most control, the most attention.

He certainly had that when both Nathaniel and Jean returned to their room after yet another night of cleaning the court, tired and desperate for sleep, Jean sullen with silence and Nathaniel at his wits end on how to make the stubborn fool _listen_ (he was sure Kevin would have something mocking to say about that) when they found Riko, a pale-faced Kevin and several older Ravens waiting for them.

Two of the older players (Sean and Tony) grabbed Nathaniel while Jean struggled as Patrick and Eli held him by the arms. “I told you, didn’t I?” Riko directed at a scowling Jean while smiling as if he’d been given a gift, so pleased with himself at the moment. “Learn your place or your _soul mate_ will pay the price.” He spoke those two words with derision while Nathaniel braced himself for what was to come, for what he’d been expecting, really.

“Let us go, tu trou du-“

Jean’s latest insult was interrupted by Riko slapping him quiet, and that seemed to be the signal for Tony to yank both of Nathaniel’s arms back hard enough to wrench his shoulders while Sean took to hitting him with enough force to leave him breathless. He could hear Jean yelling again at some point, but there were too many blows, too many punches until he thought he heard his father’s sneering, disappointed voice in his head, saw that detested face with its cruel blue eyes and slicked back red hair that was all too familiar.

He thought he was back in Baltimore at one point, and welcomed passing out before the knives dug into his skin.

The pain throbbing through his body was familiar when he woke, and after a few seconds he remembered that he was in the Nest beneath Castle Evermore when he took in the black walls and ceilings around him, the black sheet and blanket tucked over him. Someone had tended to him and put him into bed, and as he slowly flexed his limbs and attempted to lift his head (a couple of fingers splinted on his left hand and what felt to be bruised ribs but otherwise no broken bones, though some very sore muscles and dizziness, which wasn’t a good sign), there was the sound of shuffling off to the right.

He tried to look over in that direction and winced from the pain as Jean sat on his bed, face bruised and expression contrite. “ _Do you need anything_?”

Nathaniel thought about that for a moment and gave a curt nod. “ _Bathroom_.”

Jean helped him to push back the blankets and then to half-carry him to their bathroom, then gave him some privacy to empty his very full bladder. Once the toilet was flushed, Jean put him back into bed, still appearing as guilty as before. “ _What happened_?” It came out rough since his throat was so dry.

“ _You’ve been asleep for almost a day_ ,” Jean explained as he fetched a bottle of water for Nathaniel. “ _Tetsuji wasn’t pleased with Riko, though it was more a matter of being excessive than anything_.” For a couple of seconds the guilt was replaced by anger before he shook his head and opened the bottle then handed it over. “ _I didn’t… I mean… I’m so_ -“

“I’m fine,” Nathaniel said as he snatched away the bottle despite how his hands trembled. “I’ll be okay in no time.” The water felt wonderful to his parched throat and empty stomach.

Jean stared at him as if he was insane. “But they beat you up because of me!”

There was that, but Nathaniel had been beaten up for no reason before, he was used to it. “Then listen to them,” he shot back as the half-empty bottle was lowered to his lap. “To Tetsuji and… and Riko.” At Jean’s hasty glance aside, he sighed. “I know, it’s not easy, but at least try, okay?”

Jean was quiet for a couple of minutes while Nathaniel stared at him between sips of water; he’d caught Riko and Kevin talking about girls and looking at the few women Ravens players or the women who came to Castle Evermore for interviews or other Exy-related things, and knew that just because one had a soul mate that it didn’t mean one couldn’t find other people attractive. Sometimes it took years to find the name on your wrist (if ever), and some people were like Riko in that the person died at some point. Sometimes the names were a person who wasn’t meant to be a lover.

Nathaniel was eleven, soon to be twelve, and he could honestly say that it was only looking at Jean that he felt… he felt _something_. That a warmth grew inside of him the same time that something settled as Jean gave him a tender smile and reached out to tuck aside a lock of hair that must be a mess from sleeping so long (hair which Nathaniel hated since it was just like his father’s). “ _I’ll try, for you_.”

“Uhm, thank you,” Nathaniel breathed out as he felt his face grow heated for some reason, probably because of Jean doing something nice for him.

He felt a little guilty when he watched Jean swallow his temper in the following days, when he saw his partner’s grip tighten around his racquet and jaw clench as Tetsuji barked out instructions and Riko smirked, but it was for the best. That wasn’t to say that either of them were ever really ‘obedient’, not with Nathaniel’s mouth and Jean’s bitterness, but there was a limit to how much they could push, could refuse to bend the knee when the Moriyamas realized that punishing them for their insolence would only go so far but harming their ‘names’ would provoke such better results.

For all his willfulness, Nathaniel detested watching Jean be beat because of him, and Jean buckled quickly after that night in their room. Part of it was the fact that they bore each other’s names, that they dreamed of each other (now living the same lives and in the same place, a repeat of the same day from a different viewpoint), but they were always _together_. Always side by side, always in each other’s sight, almost always in each other’s reach. As he was certain Tetsuji had intended, it only bound them tighter to each other.

(Nathaniel should have known that they’d be one of _those_ types of soul bonds when they settled so quickly with each other, when being tied so closely together didn’t drive them mad or make them chafe for some personal space-as it did Riko and Kevin-but what did he know, really? He had nothing to compare it to, no other knowledge and it just felt so _right_.)

It felt right to allow Jean to tousle his hair, to sling an arm around his shoulders to pull him close, to brush chapped lips against his forehead and murmur ‘mon lutin’ before smiling at the half-hearted smack Nathaniel usually aimed at his stomach. Nathaniel didn’t trust anyone else so close, not even Kevin, but Jean… Jean was safe.

Jean knew what it felt like to put up with the older Ravens only too willing to order them around if they weren’t already busy practicing or studying to fetch this or fix that, Jean always was quick to put himself between them and Nathaniel in a protective manner. Jean also knew what it was like to deal with Riko and his moods, with his growing sense of authority each passing month.

With the obvious spike of jealousy that grew inside of Riko when Theodora ‘Theo’ Muldani arrived that summer to start training as a rookie Raven.

Kevin was astonished enough at the arrival of his own soul mate to be thrown off in practice for an entire day, a rare feat by then, and dealt with Tetsuji’s wrath as a result (also a rare feat by then). Muldani seemed to take it in better stride, especially her ‘name’ being four years or so younger than her, but appeared to focus on Exy rather than Kevin (it wasn’t like she could do much with him at the time, Nathaniel thought, which was rather naïve of him back then and explained why Jean was so protective of him around the older Ravens).

It was… it was rough going, the next several months, due to that jealousy. Nathaniel, Jean and even Kevin had to be perfect and on guard at all times, had to give no excuse for Tetsuji to raise a hand to them, no opening for Riko to tear them apart. Riko and Kevin were even more tied together as if Riko refused to share his partner with _anyone_ , while Nathaniel and Jean knew that any miss-step on their part would mean (more) pain and humiliation for them.

Riko had painted a story of the four of them being a ‘perfect court’, of the numbers inked onto their left cheeks every day symbolizing how they were the start of that court, of them being the best players that Exy would ever see. He insisted that they would make it to Court in the near future and no one would be able to match their skills, as to be expected of the heirs of Exy and those they found worthy to play at their sides.

Of course the press ate it up. All Nathaniel cared about was that it limited some (some) of the abuse directed his and Jean’s way, when guests would be around Castle Evermore.

It also meant that the Moriyamas would never let them go, that Riko held on to them all the tighter.

But Kevin was his partner, his fellow ‘heir of Exy’, the prince to his king, so Nathaniel and Jean could at least have a few hours alone together in their room, the closest thing to a haven in the Nest. A place where they could lie together on Jean’s bed and explore what was growing between them, of how good it felt to lie with arms around each other and legs entwined as they kissed. Of how just kissing wasn’t enough as the months went on and added up to years, as Jean hit a growth spurt (the bastard) and towered over Nathaniel, his limbs so long and graceful, his face more angular and handsome, his voice deeper.

Nathaniel still didn’t find anyone worthy of his attention other than Jean, who made his heart race and clench, who could make his face heat up with a simple look or smile. He didn’t understand how Jean could grow flustered gazing at _him_ , at someone with awful red hair and cold blue eyes, with such an ugly appearance, yet Jean would lie and say he was beautiful (only when they were alone, never when Riko was around, Riko and Kevin).

When Riko, Kevin and Jean were sixteen, all four of their tattoos became permanent upon Riko’s insistence; it was right before Tetsuji staged a promotional game with some of the Ravens players and the four of them (Riko and Kevin had argued to let Nathaniel play despite his younger age, so Tetsuji would allow him on the court for a short while) in light of their encroaching enrollment to Edgar Allan.

Of course Penn State offered to send some players for the match (Tetsuji didn’t want high school level players when he was intent on proving a point), and the game took place at Castle Evermore to much media attention and fanfare. Riko was his usual affable self in front of the cameras, Kevin right beside him and condescending as usual, while Nathaniel and Jean did their best to be quiet and smile and not do anything that would get them into trouble.

(They weren’t as popular as Riko and Kevin, but that day it ‘somehow’ got out about them being soul mates – most likely Riko letting something slip - which turned out to be a blessing and a curse. Nathaniel hated people knowing such an important thing about them, knowing how to _hurt_ them, but it also meant that the Moriyamas couldn’t ever separate him and Jean for very long after that point.)

The game was as popular as Tetsuji had hoped, and only seemed to feed Riko’s sense of self, his need to be adored and obeyed. Things became even more fraught between him and Kevin, while Nathaniel and Jean struggled to appease the spoiled prick with the ever present threats to each other always held over their heads (Jean pushed down the stairs for Nathaniel being mouthy one day, Nathaniel almost being ‘given’ to a couple of Ravens when Jean wouldn’t show enough ‘respect’ to Riko on another. Now that they were older… Riko had found a new level of threats to use against them).

It made what they had between them all the more precious, all the more important to be kept safe and cherished. Despite the eternal aches and bruises which their bodies bore, the weariness that made them feel so much older than their years, the brands on their cheeks and the knowledge that so much of their lives would never be their own… they would always have the other’s name on their wrists, the safety of being wrapped in each other, the wonderful rush of emotion when they touched.

The sense of peace and trust when Jean pulled Nathaniel to him, his touch so gentle yet sure (the only gentleness Nathaniel had experienced in years), those emotions roiling into something so much stronger and fiercer as Jean’s large, calloused hands stroked along Nathaniel’s scarred and bruised body, as they made him feel a pleasure that had been so foreign until Jean had showed it to him, had brought it forth. As he smiled at the hitched breaths and groans from his ‘name’, at the way Jean shuddered against him and panted against his neck, content that he made his soul mate feel the same.

(They watched in a mix of bemusement and confusion as the rest of the Ravens fell in and out of each other’s beds, at the casual regard for sex. They felt horror at Riko and Kevin and Lydia, at their ‘friends’ clearly using the older Raven – not that she seemed to mind – in what appeared to be an attempt to be more mature and resisted the taunts and jabs and questions about their own personal lives. They proceeded at their own pace, as always.)

They needed each other more and more when Riko, Kevin and Jean became official Ravens, when Nathaniel and Jean couldn’t quite spend every moment at each other’s sides. It was painful, that brief separation, and made Nathaniel desperate for the time when he’d be a Raven as well (two more years, only two more years). At least it meant that Riko and Kevin were often busy with other Exy teams, having been drafted by the Detroit Charges and with whispers of them even making Court by the end of their freshmen year.

It was often said that Nathaniel only had attention for three things – Exy, Jean, and his language lessons (he could get away with the occasional foreign insult, he’d learned over the years, and it was clear the Moriyamas meant to put him to work for more than just playing Exy) – but even he could notice the growing tension between Riko and Kevin in the past year that had nothing to do with Theo. Kevin had always been a prodigy at the sport, had always pushed himself to excel, and not only because of Tetsuji.

All the hard work was paying off, and people were beginning to notice that he _never_ quite outshone Riko, never scored more than his foster brother, never risked overshadowing the obnoxious prick.

“Riko almost lost it at the interview tonight,” Nathaniel said as he and Jean lay in bed together after the Ravens had beat Penn State in the semi-finals. “When the one guy was praising Kevin on the last goal he’d made.”

Jean groaned as he massaged the back of Nathaniel’s head. “I don’t want to talk about Exy anymore, mon lutin.”

“I’m not talking about Exy, I’m talking abo-“ Nathaniel sighed into the kiss his partner was giving him and reached up to tug on Jean’s damp black hair. “Not fair, ma moitié.”

“It’s about the only way to shut you up,” Jean said with a smile as he rolled over on top of Nathaniel, who grumbled at the comment even as he spread his thighs and wrapped his arms around the annoying bastard. “ _No more Exy and no more about those two_.”

“ _Then what are we going to do_?” Nathaniel asked, all wide eyes and bashful smile, which always made Jean growl in the most adorable manner.

“ _More of keeping you quiet… well, mostly_ ,” Jean said as his hands slid down the back of Nathaniel’s boxers.

“ _Hmm, I suppose_ ,” Nathaniel drawled as his right hand fumbled toward the nightstand, where they kept the lube.

They didn’t talk about it again for a while, but that didn’t mean that the situation improved any between Riko and Kevin. Still, Nathaniel supposed that in the end, Kevin had to take care of himself since it was all Nathaniel could do to keep him and Jean from being broken into pieces by the vicious asshole they had to call ‘king’.

Maybe it was selfish, maybe it meant that Nathaniel wasn’t a good person. Maybe. But Kevin had his own name and soul mate, and Kevin had never stepped in to stop Riko when it came to Nathaniel and Jean (with the threats to treat them like they were things to be passed around, with the waterboarding and the beatings and all the new scars they bore). Part of Nathaniel could understand it, understood the importance of minimizing the pain… but yes, it was an ‘everyman for themselves’ (unspoken) rule at the Nest. Except when it came to Nathaniel and Jean, because they were _NathanielandJean_. It made them weaker in some regards, and so much stronger in others.

Still, when Jean and Nathaniel (never more than two steps apart when Jean didn’t have classes or duties as a Raven or when out on court together) found a bleeding and shattered Kevin in the locker room after he sent Nathaniel a garbled text, there was enough loyalty in him and Jean to help patch their friend up as much as they could, get enough carefully hoarded pain pills into him and sneak him out of the Nest to where a cab waited to take him someplace (Nathaniel insisted that Kevin not tell them, just in case Tetsuji and Riko figured out that they’d helped).

Tetsuji was… unhappy when he found out what Riko had done. Nathaniel had never seen him lash out at his nephew like that, to actually strike him across the face and leave it bruised. It was a good thing that Riko had broken Kevin’s hand (something that made even Nathaniel shudder in horror) right before Christmas break, since it gave Riko some time away from the public’s eye to recover from what his uncle had done for him, as well as for Tetsuji to come up with a story for what had happened to Kevin.

(Not to say that it was a pleasant time for the rest of the Ravens and Nathaniel. New security protocols were installed that made it impossible for anyone to sneak in and out of the Nest, among other things. Nathaniel and Jean were reminded in… painful ways that escape was not an option for them, that they _belonged_ to the Moriyamas.)

“ _Do you regret it_?” Jean asked one night before spring semester started as they lay huddled in bed together. “ _That we helped him_?”

“ _At least one of us is free_ ,” Nathaniel admitted as he shook his head. “ _But that’s it, we owe him nothing more_.” They hadn’t really owed Kevin that much, to be honest.

From then on out, Nathaniel would be focused only on keeping Jean safe, on doing whatever he had to in order to protect the only person important to him. _Anything_. Because Jean was his entire world, his reason for getting up each morning and enduring whatever the Moriyamas put him through – even more than Exy.

Judging from the devotion he could see in Jean’s beautiful grey eyes just then (everything about him was beautiful, really), his soul mate felt the same. “ _Nothing more_ ,” Jean agreed as he bent his head to kiss Nathaniel (the bastard was still too tall). “ _Only you, my elf. In this world there is only you_ ,” he breathed out as if echoing Nathaniel’s thoughts.

Safe in each other’s arms, they fell asleep.

*******

 

**Author's Note:**

> *******  
> (I feel a little bad for Andrew, I do)
> 
> And I apologize, for some reason the formatting got all F%%U*% up for this fic. I tried my best. SO MUCH SWEARING!!!!!
> 
> Hmm, how this really breaks from cannon, other than the whole Neil/Jean thing and Neil at EA/as a Raven? It's always easier to break a person by going for their weakest point, and obviously Jean caves a lot faster here because of Neil (and Neil because of Jean). So that 'circumvents' Riko sending those people to Jean when he was 16 (he threatens, that's clear, but some of Jean's defiance crumbles earlier because of Neil being there). I tried to show that Jean was still that angry, bitter child... but Neil being there and being his soul mate changed things. Jean tempered his behavior for Neil (and Neil for him).
> 
> They still put up with too much, these poor boys. But they have each other.
> 
> Anyway... that's it? I hoped it was decent. Look for Raven's Partner tomorrow!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated!  
> *******


End file.
